My black birthday

25th November, I was drafting my post birthday blog post already…leaving spaces for pictures of my yet-to-be-received gifts. Like every year, I had all the plans to make my birthday last for +- 3 days. At 11:30 pm on the 26th, a friend from Mumbai called to wish me. During our usual chat I happened to ask how was Mumbai treating her. 3 more sentences were exchanged and my birthday was over for me half n hour before it actually did. Suddenly the celebration seemed so out of place against the horrors of terrorism in Mumbai.

Next morning when I opened the post, I simply Shift+Deleted it. And I haven’t been able to write anything since, which explains my almost 20 day absence. Even now it discomforts me to talk about it. But this morning I read a line quoted by a Rwanda refugee – “When we are haunted by painful memories, it is important to talk about them and share them so that the process of healing can take over…”, though I doubt anything can ever heal or repair the losses of the people who fell prey to the fanatic idiots.

Yes, life goes on. And the spirit of Mumbai, the spirit of an Indian cannot be marred by the inhuman actions of a few people who are not even worth an abuse. But it’s high time we stop tolerating it in the name of our spirit and it’s good that people have realized it. No one has a control over what his/her future has in store…but if we work for it…we can surely make it better, can surely add a healing touch…

As for my birthday, I don't know if i'll look forward to it the way I do ever again. I feel extremely sorry that it became a lifelong scar for so many of my countrymen. 

My black birthday.


My moment to be proud!

As I entered the ground with Dad I saw a huge stage, the biggest I have seen till date. When I had seen it from the road I take to office everyday, I had mistaken it for a huge metro crane. Now I knew what it was. It was a Guinness Book of World Records event in the making.

Bramhanaad, an initiative by the Art of Living Foundation to raise relief funds for the Bihar flood victims was an event of great beauty and serenity. For the first time, 1200 Sitarists had been brought together and made to perform collectively. Watching 2000 musicians assembled on a single stage was a sight in its own.

The stage, in Pandit Hari Prasad Chaurasia’s words, looked like a sea of instruments and ‘Surs’, beautifully lit and majestic.

Hoards of people had assembled, to meet their spiritual master Jagadguru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji.

We, though, had gone there for a different reason. My little cousin was one of the Sitarists on the stage. I am not a believer/follower or Gurudev as they affectionately call him. But with all respect to him, I do admire him to have influenced such a large number of people all over the country for good.

So, even as he was speaking, I was busy looking at my cousin, Saarthak, fidgeting with his clothes and becoming restless, obviously not interested in the spiritual talk. Every 2 seconds he would look towards the big screen covering the event live right behind him to see if he is there on it or not. : )

He was the youngest Sitarist among all of them. He is 9 and has been learning Sitar since 4 and half years already. And before I forget to mention, he is my darling!

That's him!

Various speeches by different people took some time to finish. All this while I was wondering if Saarthak will be able to match to these experienced people who have been playing the instrument for I don’t know how many years. But when the first symphony was announced, he confidently picked up his Sitar, tuned it and started playing with such finesse that I was amazed. He knew exactly when he had to stop, when to start, when to play what, which by my standards is a lot for a 9 year old, especially when he is playing with all sorts of people, novice and hell experienced!

And I was so proud….I just felt like going to the stage and hug him, tell everyone that he is my little brother. : )


The symphonies were beautiful. Apart from Saarthak, if I paid any attention to anyone on the stage, it was this lead musician playing the flute. Only if I could play like him! He was simply out of this world!

There is one thing that Gurudev said and I totally agree with him. He said that there should be at least one child in the family learning classical music. And he is so right. Classical music touches the heart and nothing can match its flavor.

I’m so proud of you Saarthak!

Dying to be born!!

My birthday is just a week away and I am super excited!!

I have been waiting for it for 2 months, counting each day…yeah I know that sounds obsessive but I have been like that about my birthdays since the time I was old enough to figure out that it’s November…my birthday month!

People always ask me what I want for my birthday, and I am never able to come up with anything. I just like surprises…love them! And I love the attention I get on my birthday. It’s my day…only mine!!

Ok, when I sat writing this post…I was going to make a wish list of what I want on my birthday. But as usual…I am not able to think of anything...I guess its going to be surprises again :)


My Birthday is coming…yippeeee doooodllleee!!!!


This is has been the most hectic week in 6 months. Work has been falling the size of boulders on us. 11 hours continuously working…that’s been my longest in office!

Oh, by the way…I have been making some new friends. As in, not casual acquaintances.
I mean, we meet so many new people almost everyday. You strike an easy conversation with some and with some others you don’t feel all that comfortable. Would rather stick to Hi’s and Hello’s with them. But then, it’s not always that you feel that this person is going to be more than just a social contact. Sometimes a chord strikes somewhere and you know that you are going to be friends, and remain like that. That you will go out of your way to keep in touch.
And I am glad I found a couple of such people in the last few weeks. I am not going to take names. It might just kill the feeling…something’s are not be unwrapped. If they read this, they’ll know I’m talking of them…and if this brings a smile…we are friends : )

In the meantime…someone save me from office!!! : (

Spitting out my disgust!

Did I mention I hate people who spit on the roads???

I am sure I must have, and hate them I do!

This morning when I was going to office on my scooty, this absolutely disgusting man moving on a scooter ahead of me spat a mouthful, and it landed straight on my helmet visor, thank God for the visor it would have been my face!!!

And that did it!

I chased him till the next signal…and as soon as he stopped I just caught hold of him and shouted my head off. And surprisingly, he was an educated man! And I was so grossed out…I was close to abusing him in front of everyone who gathered there suddenly. I told him to never get his ass on roads again (not that he took me seriously or even listened to me but I was so angry I didn’t even care he was at least 20 years older than me).
And the worst part is, all he said was – "Sorry, I didn’t see you were behind me..."


What difference does it make you stupid man!! You are bloody spitting on the road and you don’t even regret it despite a public affront. And I was so sickened I just left from there. I mean what can you say to an educated man when he knows what he is doing and doesn’t care…let alone regret it. One can expect an illiterate to understand once taught, but what can one do about these educated illiterates???

New look

Hi people,

As you can see I have tried out this new look for my blog...
I like it...but I'm still not too sure because of mixed reviews...some say that the previous look was better...

Help me decide which one to keep :(

Happy Birthday Nandu!

Its Nandita's birthday today...and she's upset with me because my last post doesn't have a pic of hers (now we know the reason for over-criticizing the pic...hehe!) and she wants me to put one of her pics on me blog...

I guess I should do this for her on her birthday :)

This one's for you Nandu!


Just a thought

Sometimes, flicking through old pics...remembering the good times.... makes you cry.

I was browsing through our college time pics....and so many memories just came flooding in...i couldn't control myself : )

Me in 3 lines...

I saw this in Jiya’s blog and thought this is interesting. Really makes you think about your likes and dislikes.
So, I took myself as tagged…and here it is…

3 names I go by:

# Aastha
# Moti
# Ass [ :- | ]

3 things that scare me:

# Losing my dear ones
# Cockroaches, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
# Dad’s anger

3 people who make me laugh:

# Saurabh, a very close friend
# Mom (she can be really funny at times)
# Anu Mami (she can make me laugh so hard my eyes start watering)

3 things I love:

# Sea (I so want to sit like those ‘filmy’ actresses on the beach and just stare at the sea for hours…)
# Stuffed toys (especially teddy bears)
# Rain (always makes me want to dance with joy)

3 things I hate:

# Insensitivity
# Hypocrisy
# People spitting on roads like idiots

3 things I don't understand:

# Stock market [: (]
# How are some people so casual about falling in love (ever changing relationships)
# Why am I so difficult to be understood

3 things on my desk:

# My computer
# A calendar
# Two of my small teddies

3 things I'm doing right now:

# Biting my nails [: (((((]
# Listening to ‘khuda jaane’ from bachna ae haseeno
# Rubbing my neck every now 'n then (I have a sprain and I am supposed to be off the computer for as long as I can..hehe)

3 things I want to do before I die:

# Go to Switzerland…at least once….I fell in love with the place when I saw it in DDLJ [: D]
# Get completely drunk
# Make sure that I die happy and contended

3 things I can't do:

# Go for morning walks (whatever amount of flab I gain, I just cannot do this!)
# Live with being misunderstood
# Act more girly than I am

3 things I think you should listen to:

# My sister when she is just back from college…she gives all the RJs a serious competition!
# Mohammed Rafi songs
# 'Chupke chupke' by Ghulam Ali

3 shows I watched as a kid:

# I dream of Jeanie (oh yes, this one’s a common favorite with many)
# Bewitched (used to air just after I dream of Jeanie)
# Mowgli

3 things I want in a relationship:

# Ease to express
# Respect
# Un-doubtable love (I am not sure if the adjective is valid English or not)

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to me:

# Arms (should exude strength)
# A good hairstyle, something that suits the guy, makes him look cool and yet human (guys have freaky hairstyles these days I tell you!)
# Walk…shouldn't be a stomp foot

3 of my favorite hobbies :

# Singing (but usually when I am alone)
# Dancing (again alone)
# Doing anything creative like a sketch or rangoli or mehndi ( got my mom’s genes maybe…she is an artist)

3 beverages i drink regularly :

# Mango juice
# Coffee
# Milk (like it or not, have to drink it every morning!)

3 things I like about myself:

# Giving my best to anything I do
# Tolerance
# Easily admit my mistakes

3 things I hate about myself:

# My inability to exercise a little and lose this fat [:(]
# Hurting myself to make someone happy, even if he/she doesn’t care
# Easily developing an inferiority complex

3 of my everyday essentials:

# Getting up late for work…just 5 minutes more in bed….5 minutes 5 times!
# A lot of moisturizer (can’t stand dry skin)
# Having funny little fights with Mom which leave us both laughing in the end

3 things I am wearing right now:

# A shabby pyjama
# Light blue T-shirt
# A ruffle (scrunchy) in my hair

2 truths and a lie:

# I have watched ‘Vivah’ 15 times
# I need my teddy beside me when I am sleeping
# I stole my friend’s color box when I was in 6th standard

3 people I want to tag:


And anybody else who wants to get tagged…

Have fun!

My only blemish...

We’ve always heard of the advantages of being a local-ite. Let me give you one big disadvantage-

You are made to come to office right the next day after Diwali, even when there is no work, because the rest of the team has gone ‘home’ and you are needed as a friggin’ backup!
I mean…backup for what???
There is no work!

And I am sitting here, now writing this post…but looking at my computer screen since morning…refreshing the desktop and mail box endlessly (and no one writes me mails!!).

Sitting idle makes you think…
And whenever I think I chew my nails…hell I hate myself for that. But it’s a childhood habit which I don’t seem to be able to get rid off. Almost every month I resolve to leave my nails alone…but have never been able to stick to the resolution for more than 24 hours. I mean girls are supposed to have beautiful nails, long and manicured while mine look like they were left in a mug full of nail biting bugs!

And I concluded that this is one awful habit I have that I want to get rid of. I am sure everyone has one such habit. Let’s hear it from you!

Question repeat/reframed-

What is that one habit of yours that you really want to get rid of, your only hindrance to being the perrrfect one? (HeHe!)

This is my Rangoli!!

Psssttt....leave comments full of praises...please :D



P.S. To Goddess Lakshmi - This Diwali please make sure you go to the houses of those who really need you and where you haven't been yet.

Diwali Dhamaka!

Diwali is here!

Ok, there’s still about a week for Diwali to arrive….but as I said…the festive mood is setting in. This is undoubtedly the liveliest time of the year…for everyone! You get so many gifts. (He He He!)
We got our Diwali gift from office too…..yay!!!!

I think more than anything, it’s the family get-togethers that excite me. This is the time of the year when our HUGE family meets up…everyone.
And if I tell you how many people there are in my family….you’ll probably boycott us on charges of increasing the population!
Imagine what it would be like having all of them together!.....yayyyyy….I am excited!!!

There’s one more thing I absolutely love doing on Diwali. Lighting diyas!
I think no electric lighting can match the charm of putting diyas all around your house. They are just so beautiful!

And I also make Rangoli every year. And pretty ones mind you : )

All these small things make this festival so special and joyous. At least for me. I am sure all of you are going to enjoy it as much!

Wish you all a very very Happy Diwali!!!

P.S. Please don’t burst crackers. Diwali is a lot more than smoke and noise.

Nothings happening!!

No work at work!



Nothing to write about!!!


Double irritated!!!


Sleepy too!

Hope to find something sensible to write soon :)

Life isn't rosy..

Sometimes simple things are so difficult. It becomes so difficult to talk to somebody who was once your biggest confidant. I wanted to say that I am not fine…but would it have made a difference…any impact? Believe me or not, the most difficult thing to face in life is to have somebody who cared for you tell you that he/she doesn’t care in the least bit for you anymore. And then you have no option but to choose the shell, and back off. And now, you can keep your problems to yourself, no one cares. So you have to find a way to console yourself.
And people say there are so many others…
But then can anybody be an alternate for anybody? Some people/things in life are not replaceable. But no one would listen to you. You can keep shouting your head off and keep trying to make people understand. But all you look like is a LOSER.
So I cannot say that I am not fine. And I have to be pretentious. Because I cannot talk to someone I really want to. Great life!

Tid bits

A lousy day at work. Half of the team off to did practically nothing..

Went to college in the lunch time to collect my final year marksheet. It was such a pleasant feeling going back there. It's like going back to your roots...from where you started. Walking those coridoors again, the canteen, the many memories are filled in every nook and corner of that place.I was so nostalgic! I wanted to meet many people but due to lack of time...just met a few of them and came back to office.

and the lousy day continued, with small intervals of work.

But the good thing is...along with a slight cold in the weather, the festive mood is setting in. So many festivals round the really looking forward to them!

Sunday Morning Blues...

Its Sunday morning…and it started like every other Sunday morning. Just when I started snuggling up in my blanket, Mom decided to start shouting, “Get up, its 10! Ye bachhe bahut nalayak ho gaye hain!”. I mean who gets up at 10 on Sunday??...I planned to sleep till 12 or 1!
So, I got up and cleaned up my bed (just to make Mom happy) and switched on my computer. It had not even shown the desktop and my Dad came,
“Subah Subah computer! God, what lifestyle you have! Wait, there’s an article in the newspaper…let me get it for you….dekh! This is the lifestyle you should follow…poora padh isse!”
And there it was in front of me. My ideal daily schedule.

6 am: Wake up (Ha Ha!)

6:15 am: Cleansing Drink (what’s that?)

6:30 am: Yoga [ :( ]

8 am: Juice (What the hell! Mom has forbidden me from having juices…she says they are fattening!)

8:30 am: Hip bath, steam bath, ye bath, wo bath (ghar main spa khula hai kya???)

11 am: Visit to the doctor (Daily??? And who will go to office????)

Everything after this assumed that we are useless people with nothing else to do, so sit at home and pamper yourself! Wow!
Give me my salary for doing this and I promise I’ll follow the schedule! This happens every Sunday. I am given a new article about a perfect lifestyle every Sunday, without failing! Plus the weight loss programs for me which Mom designs herself. And she makes sure that I start following them. So, every week I have a new agenda, sorry not a new agenda…the agenda remains the same always….losing weight…every week I have a new plan to carry out for this purpose. And I my defense I do follow them religiously for the first two days of the week. And then I give up.
Ok! My fault I know!
But it’s very difficult to follow these planned schedules. Don’t ask me why…they just are!
And they ask me to go to bed at 9 pm! I am not going to start doing that! Do I have a life or not???
Have you ever been jealous of somebody?
Just like that….no reasons…about something deep inside….which you are scared to accept…or probably you accept it but you don’t want the world to know or it might laugh at you…
Ever wanted to share your loneliness with somebody but that somebody is not available…and you tell yourself that he will come…hope…
Ever felt that you have lost all hope?
Ever found yourself not dreaming….as if you don’t care what happens now…forgot how you used to say “I wish it happens”…
Ever tried really hard to make ends meet?
Given your everything to it…nurtured a small flower, a friendship, a relationship….and yet it didn’t work out…the flower died…
There are so many things to make you lose faith in life….to make you think you don’t have enough…not enough as the other person….or not enough to keep you happy…
But little things and the small delights hidden in small nothings is the real happiness…for when you stop feeling them….you really should worry about how you will carry on. Howsoever unhappy you are, it is always possible to smile, even in the darkest hour…even if it is coupled with tears….happiness lies within you…and it is never too difficult to find it..

A Wednesday

Yesterday I saw the movie ‘A Wednesday’. And the first phrase that came to my mind as soon as the movie got over was: (I don’t know if the English is technically correct or it makes any sense or not…that’s what came to my mind)

It’s a movie capable of shaking the wits out of anybody’s trousers!

WARNING: For those who haven’t seen the movie yet…..Please don’t read on!
You don’t want this post to be a spoiler!

An infinite number of movies have been made on the issue of terrorism…and though each one tackles one or the other aspect of this thousand headed (and ever increasing) monster, they are usually predictable. Most of them are an insight into the life of the terrorist…getting into the reasons of a common man turning a terror weapon and the like.
The other aspect covers the struggling administration…helpless most of the time.

Reel reflects the real.

A bomb goes off…..10 or 20 or 50 or 100 odd people die.
The whole police department on its heels.
The intelligence of the country clueless.
The government busy denying the charges which the opposition takes no time in slapping.
The news channels rush to blast site….start covering. They get a break from snake charmers and stories of the world ending for 2-3 days. This is the same media who is more concerned about the number of dresses a minister changes when people are dying out there!
People in their homes get stuck to their televisions, punching their remote buttons, jumping from one channel to the other, trying to get every camera’s view of the miserable sight.
A few phone calls, checking if all friends and relatives are safe and then settling back…and with them settles another heap full of fear.

THIS is the section affected the most. THE STUPID COMMON MAN.
Is this how we want to live?
Do we want to spend the rest of our lives dreading those few thousand fanatics who will come and bomb us anytime they fancy?
This is exactly the question raised in the movie.

The movie shows one frustrated “stupid common man” who is tired of living with this fear and decides to do something about it because he has lost all faith in the government he chose and the administration that runs him and millions of people like him.
He decides to fight back by biting back.
He gets four terrorists held in the prison, soon to be released, together by making the police believe that he is a fellow militant who wants them released by blackmailing the government. And then…he bombs the four.

The ironical part is that the police and the government are clueless and helpless again.
They do as they are told to. Any single man with 5 kg of explosive can make them dance like puppets to his tune.

The movie makes you think about a lot of things.
Your role, your capability being the citizens of this free country who have all the right in the world to live without fear. I do not deny that I too am one of those millions who dare not do such a thing and would rather adjust to the situation, but I definitely was shaken by the realization of what a common man can do if he gets at it!

The movie ends with a question unanswered:

What the man did…was it right or wrong?

Its for you to decide….and I think it was right, for those who do not flinch at the idea of killing people will never understand anything we SAY.

Useless usefulness

The weekend is over and office again tomorrow. These two days pass the quickest. Not that I have back breaking piles of work in office, but nothing can match the satisfaction of being able to get up at 11 in the morning, even with the kicks I get from mom when I get up that late. There’s nothing like lazing around the whole day in front of the TV or maybe with a book. Thankfully that’s how I spent my weekend this time. Usually most of my weekends go busy.
So, here I am on this Sunday evening, in the best of the lazy moods and thinking. Thinking about anything and everything. Yes this is one of those absolutely random posts so you can by all means navigate to another page from here.
For those who decide to read on…
I was thinking about how suddenly we have transformed from useless people of the highest degree to something useful. College was always all about whiling away the maximum time possible in parking or the canteen or the flag post. And now, five minutes of doing nothing in office and I get restless and rush to my team lead and tell him to give me some work or I’ll shout! (Ok…I didn’t exactly tell him that I’ll shout…but I very well meant it!)
Such is the sudden urge to work and make myself useful for all the 8-9 hours that I spend in office….that I take up any and every work assigned to me. Now, don’t think I have no work to do there. It’s just an audit going on and we have no significant work for the time being. Only for the time being! And man I am looking forward to the end of audit and loads of work to do! Funny!
This was one thought….worth mentioning. Apart from this my thoughts included contemplating the songs I would dance on if I were to participate in a dance reality show….and the likes. So I guess I’ll recede now! :)

To the Golden land and back...

There has been so much mention of our trip in everyone’s blog that I really don’t need to talk about it. And I wouldn’t be doing it if I weren’t missing the place so much (surprisingly enough!). Yeah, Amritsar reminded me of Alwar, and probably that’s why it keeps flashing in front of my eyes even after a whole week.

The small galis with the hustle bustle of a busy city, and yet the peacefulness I miss so much in the Delhi-NOIDA kind metropolitans. I had heard that every city has an aura of its own. And though I have been to many places (courtesy my Dad who is a travelling freak) …. I was very young when I visited most of them. And all I remember is being to a whole lot of hill stations. My Dad doesn’t seem to get tired of hill stations and all of them look the same!

So, when we entered the city of Amritsar, I experienced that strange uniqueness of a city for, practically, the first time. Right from the old rickshaws to small halwai shops and narrow lanes, the city was full of “Punjabi-ness”. And the most adorable part about the city was small Sikh children. They are the cutest kids I have seen till date!

Why Amritsar reminded me of Alwar I don’t know. Probably the same small-city-charm. Striking similarities, but nothing uncommon. Every other small city of India is like that.
Take for example, pigs!
Dirty pigs strolling lazily around in markets and garbage places or lying in a drain. A sight I was used to when I was living in Alwar, and after that, Amritsar. Funny that watching pigs can excite someone as it excited me!

The small city charm can be the only explanation.

The best part of our stay in Amritsar was the half an hour that we spent walking towards the Golden temple standing in the middle of the sacred kund. The beautiful ardas (Punjabi bhajans) that were playing there took me straight to the heaven and back! I was so lost in them that about thrice the line went ahead and I was pushed by people behind me to move forward. It’s like you are automatically connected to God when you step in the premises of the Golden temple. It’s heavenly!

Let me not get into explaining what it was like standing at Wagah border because it isn’t something that I will be able to put in words. Can just say that the feeling was out of the world!!!

As the day ended, we came back to the hotel and after a few precious heart to heart exchanges of thoughts and feelings…..we called it a day.
A well planned, well executed and a will-always-remain-in-heart kind of a trip.

ZEALICON 2008!!!

Hello Friends,

JSS Academy of Technical Education, Noida is going to have its techfest in the month of march, commencing from 14th.

The official site is

The official blog is

Do visit!!!

Me at work!!

Zealicon 2008…
Our techfest….coming up in March…and holy cow!!!
I’ve ended myself up in the college technical committee!
Well…it gives me a sense of work…and I also came to know what being busy is! Hehe!
At least I am doing something constructive like most of the people around me…I don’t feel useless anymore!
I never knew that an event takes so much to be organized, so much work, so much pressure! Everyday a new issue coming up…and it’s been just 3 days into it. I guess that’s how it is…I am sure I’ll get used to working like that…I hope I do!