I want everything...

I think I am one person who has fancied becoming everything in life. I cannot think of a single profession that I did not contemplate pursuing. Always fickle minded, my goal in life used to change every month...I’ve been everything….from the doctor to the astronaut to the news reader to the encounter specialist police office (hehe)…I’ve imagined it all!!!

And here I am now, running in the 23rd year of my life and still on the same page. The only difference is that my goals don’t change every month…they change every year, if you consider that as improvement!

Is it really bad to be 22 years old and not know what to do in life and yet choose a goal and work towards it and then oscillate between being skeptical and sure about the decision????


A sinking feeling is setting in…things are not the same as they were. But then they had to change…and it’s not that I wasn’t aware of it. With people leaving, the group becoming smaller by day, things not as rosy at work, I gaining a lot of weight, mom nagging me about it every 5 minutes…the coming days don’t seem nice enough to enjoy.

Parting from friends was never this difficult…I left my childhood friends when I came to Delhi from Alwar too. Probably then I didn’t realize what I was leaving behind. Now, when I’m being left behind by people leaving for their respective careers and life…I feel abandoned.

I know that response is an exaggerated one….maybe it will pacify itself with time.


Tomar said...

The tagline of one of my favorite movie goes like this... "It took him 24 years and 18000 feet to find himself".
So take a chill pill for a while...you are almost there.

kritika said...

and i thought i was the only one who was confused and fickle minded.. glad to know someone is with me too !!!
U will ultimately find your goal... there are 2 types of ppl.... one who are focused from the beginning and the others who are like us... don't worry there are plenty like us... don't get intimidated by them !!!
I agree with ur mom .... Lose weight but at the same time don't fret on it !!!
Sweetheart u need to accept that things change .... its a checkered life that we live... you are not the only one to experience those up and downs ... the sooner you accept that the better
The feeling is mutual about the abandonment ... but life never stops...you move on....you meet new people... sometimes the old ones are forgotten and sometimes they are not.... so treasure the memories... live like there is no tomorrow

Hari Shankar said...

i know wat you mean w.r.t goal change every year..Until 23, i was completely clueless of where i am heading to...even now, sometimes i am like is this really what i want to do :). I think it is very natural and common to be still deciding what we want to do...at the end of the day, i think we should not have any regrets and should be convinced of watever path we take or hope to take..

ArkAngel said...

Thanks Hari...that really makes me feel sure! :)

They say na...a senior is the best mentor! :)